By Gina Blitstein

To the age-old question as to how to combine the role of mother and businesswoman, Rachael Smith, inventor and owner of Mrs Smith's Bags provides her own unique answer. Rachael's product is the new face of diaper bags - fashionable, practical and intelligently designed. After all, moms and dads are people too. As long as they have to lug around bottles and diapers, why not be able to carry a cell phone and an umbrella in the bag as well - and look stylish doing it? It seems that the underlying philosophy behind Rachael's products is to integrate life and parenthood.

Is Rachael able to do that in her own life? How does she integrate her business life into her personal life? She explains, "My office is in the kids’ playroom. They come home from pre-school and kindergarten and play in the room while I work. In the afternoon I take a break and we go to the park and walk the dog. Then they have rest time which allows me to get more work done. When my husband comes home I make dinner and then put the kids to bed. I then work for the rest of the evening, often going to our warehouse to ship bags. Thank goodness for my Bluetooth. I have held many a meeting while serving my children chicken nuggets, carrot sticks and apple slices. All accompanied by ketchup, of course."

"When it comes to balancing my family with my business," Rachael continues, "I want to make sure that everything I do is tip top but if I have to choose between volunteering at one of my kid’s schools or working on my Facebook page, I will choose my children. My kids come first. It’s great for the kids, but doesn’t always close a sale. My customers can relate to my situation and understand why it’s important to "make the day about the day" and not about the details.”

Rachael sums up her work/life balance strategy like this, "When you hear about my typical day, you can see why my company’s slogan is “Keep it all together” because sometimes it’s a struggle!"

Although balancing life and career may sometimes be a struggle, there are unique lessons to be learned by the children of an entrepreneur. Rachael says, "By necessity, they learn to be flexible. When I need to take a call they have learned to be quiet and entertain themselves. If I have bags that need to be shipped immediately they are happy to ride in the minivan and watch a movie as we drive to FedEx Kinkos, and when we get there they are excellent door holders."

Rachael proudly recounts, "Yesterday it was career day at my son’s school and I spoke about Mrs Smith’s Bags. My son was so proud and kept chiming in with “and we sell this type of bag too.” It is a great thing to be able to work from your kids’ playroom as you get to be a part of their adventure while you have one of your own."

It's not only her children who have learned valuable lessons since Rachael has become an entrepreneur. She recounts, "I learned that I am tougher than I thought I was. Business can sometimes be unpredictable and rough, yet I have found the courage and strength to keep moving forward."

Entrepreneurs are a brave and hardy lot. We can learn much from their challenges and successes. The significant challenge - and its solution is exactly what Rachael says, "Keeping it all together."

How do you "keep it all together" when the demands of work and life challenge you?

By Gina Blitstein

Sometimes the urge to strike out into an entrepreneurial venture is undeniable - a person feels born to it. Other times the entrepreneurial bug bites when we least expect. Such was the case for Rachael Smith.

Rachael was a first grade teacher when an "accessory malfunction" inspired her to consider a new career path. She explains, "It all started with a dripping wet diaper bag at Tucson International Airport. My son was crying and I was trying to find his favorite toy in my generic diaper bag. It was so unorganized that all I succeed in doing was spilling milk on everything in the bag." That incident provided the spark that set Rachael on her way to starting her own business.

"I searched the marketplace for a bag that would help me stay organized to better care for the needs of my children, but was unsuccessful. So I designed and manufactured my own." That's how Rachael's business, Mrs Smith's Bags, was born. Mrs Smith's makes diaper bags that are fashionable as well as practical and intelligently designed, taking into consideration the needs of the parent as well as the child.

"The idea first came to me in December of 2005. In the summer of 2006, I designed my first diaper bag using a cardboard box and tape, and with kids in tow visited a local manufacturer who made my first prototype."

A fantastic idea is one thing, but how was Rachael emotionally able to make the leap from the steady paycheck of a teaching job to the dicey proposition of manufacturing her own products? "My family was very supportive," Rachael declaares. "My grandmother told me constantly that I could do anything I put my mind to. After hearing of my plans she wrote me a card that says “Go Get’em Tiger” on the outside. On the inside she wrote, “There is not one doubt in my mind that you will succeed in anything you set out to do! You need to pursue this with great passion!” I keep the card in my desk drawer."

It wasn't unanimous support for her new venture from the outset, however. "On the other hand," Rachael says, "My husband was fairly unsupportive. He is not a risk taker and worries about money a lot. I remember one cold evening I went down to his office and sat there crying. I said, “I want to quit, this is too hard,” and all he said was, “Ok.” That just made me angry, so I pressed forward even harder. So in a strange way I have to thank him for getting me to keep moving forward."

My friends were intrigued, to say the least. It was a foreign concept to them. We were all mothers who would attend playgroups with our children where we would talk about which kids were walking, not about what product we were inventing. Now that my diaper bags are on the market, however, they are quite thankful as they all use Mrs. Smith’s Bags now.

The most rewarding part of being an entrepreneur mom for Rachael is that she now has the opprtunity to serve as an inspriation to other women who may also be "unintentional entrepreneurs." She offers them following advice based upon her own experiences:

• Be brave
• Talk about yourself
• Ask lots of questions
• Listen
• Be forthright
• Stay the course
• Most importantly, take one day at a time

Rachael may not have had a lifelong ambition to be an entrepreneur but when she identified a need and a solution, she seized the opportunity, despite the well-meaning concerns of her husband. Rachael defied the odds and made a success because of her determination to make a product that solved a problem and filled a need in the marketplace. Her success is now, "In the bag."

Would you have the wherewithal to strike out as an "unintentional entrepreneur" like Rachael?

By Gina Blitstein

At the end of a long day at work, many people head home to what they hope is a happy relationship. Our marriages are the loving, nurturing escapes from the "real world." We want our spouse to be a trusted friend, confidante and advocate. We want to share our life, our hopes and successes with them. But should sharing our life include sharing the details of our work?

According to her 24-year study, The Early Years of Marriage," the longest-running study of married couples ever conducted, Terri Orbuch, PhD, has discovered a positive correlation between happiness at work and a happy marriage. As project director of this research, funded by the National Institute of Health, Dr. Orbuch has studied what makes marriages happy - and what breaks them apart - since 1986. Dr Orbuch says it's advisable for couples to discuss their work (as well as other subjects of interest) in order to achieve a sense of "togetherness." Couples who bond with each other to this degree are simply happier.

Depending upon your personality and work philosophy, though, bringing the job home may not come naturally. What about couples who find it difficult to discuss their work with their spouse? Dr. Orbuch encourages these couples to open those channels of communication, lest their relationships suffer serious consequences. She explains, "My study found that the happiest marriages were ones where partners felt their spouse regularly disclosed information about his or her life, and did not keep secrets—even details from work that might be deemed “boring.” My study also showed that interdependence in a relationship--which includes sharing workplace burdens and concerns--gives spouses more incentive to stay together. Also, self-disclosure from one spouse generally leads to self-disclosure from the other. Psychologists call this the "norm of reciprocity in relationships." Translation: if you don't share your work life, it creates more distance between spouses, less happiness, and more opportunities for secrets to flourish."

Why do couples avoid talking about work? Dr. Orbuch concludes, "People think their work life is boring, too complex to explain, or perhaps even catty, when the topic involves workplace relationships gone sour. Also, there is a common myth out there, that work and family/marriage should stay separate: “What happens at work, should stay at work and not spill over into your marriage/family life.” This myth needs to be dispelled."

"It's so important to let your spouse understand what those 8 hours a day you spend away from him or her are like for you," says Dr. Orbuch. "I know of one couple in which the husband felt his work as the CEO and CFO of an investment management firm would be uninteresting or too technical for his wife. What he learned, however, is that when he shared his daily worries, small triumphs, and even arcane financial analyses with her, he discovered that she was fascinated, really "got" what he did, wanted to find out more, and even had offbeat insights that made him think about his work life in a fresh way. Now they talk work regularly, and she offers him smart perspectives that make him feel as if he's not alone in an ivory tower. Also, because she has background, he doesn't have to give her the whole history behind new developments about employee issues and policies when they arise."

How can you overcome feelings of discomfort if it is not your habit to discuss work issues at home? Dr. Orbuch suggests these strategies:

Get personal. Talk about someone at work, rather than the work itself. If you're having a conflict with a coworker, or perhaps you admire your new boss, make this the topic of conversation with your spouse.

Ask for advice. A good way to talk about work is to ask your spouse to help you with a particular problem you're having--how to tell your boss the project deadline is unreasonable, or how to master a new software program that's causing you grief.

First, ask about his or her work. If you want to talk about your work, ask about your spouse's work first. Ask specific questions that begin with what, how, or why. This way, you get out of the old "How was work today?" trap that invites a one-word answer. After he or she has shared and you've listened, you can share your own workplace story in response.

Thanks to Dr. Orbuch and her years of research, there are practical, tried-and-true methods for bringing up work issues in your marital relationship. It's all about integrating the many aspects of your life into your most significant relationship, helping to create a more seamless balance between work and your life. Doing so will make you happier - and by association, you'll enjoy a happier marriage.

Do you find it difficult to share your work life with your spouse?

By Gina Blitstein

You're ready to take the entrepreneurial leap: You have a solid business plan, a laptop and a disdain for business suits. While at first it may sound appealing to work in your pajamas as an entrepreneur or freelancer, the novelty soon wears off. The fact is, it is difficult to become and remain motivated day after day when you work in your home, isolated and without all the amenities of an actual work space.

"What amenities?" you ask. Amenities like a hellish commute, an overbearing employer, gossiping coworkers and a filthy lunchroom?

While there is nothing to miss in that scenario, there are elements to a more traditional workspace that are very conducive to productivity, success and satisfaction. What elements are often missing when you're not working in the traditional business environment?

Workspace
You may have a spare room or a corner of your basement. It's true that the space is free of charge but is it free of distractions?

Business equipment
You have a laptop, but what about a heavy-duty printer, fax machine, dedicated business phone line?

Meeting space
Where can you meet with clients? Is your space professional or cluttered with toys and, well, clutter?

Networking opportunities
How much business are you going to do with the postal carrier? That's most likely the only person with whom you'll have contact working from home.

The key to being a successful freelancer or entrepreneur is to have space to conduct your work that is not only affordable but that affords you the amenities you need to be productive. Coworking is a way to have the best of both worlds: freelancer and fully-equipped professional.

Coworking - the Concept

By way of definition, coworking is a concept of bringing solo-workers together so that they can pool resources to enhance their work experience. Coworking can take place anywhere a group can congregate. This is often at a coffee shop or restaurant where workers can gather and either collaborate and network or work alone and simply enjoy the benefits of being in proximity of others.

As to the benefits of coworking, Lorenz Lammens, Marketing Director for Online Design Bureau, suggests that coworking allows workers to, "Get a second brain and think outside of the box." He goes on to say, "Many ideas are born out of conversation. You're stuck, can't quite figure out how to move on, so you take a break and discuss your ideas with others who have different skill sets. The combination of different experiences, approaches and temperament often spur on new ideas that you simply couldn't have come up with on your own."

The point is to fend off isolation. Whether you feel pangs of loneliness or not, it is important to remain in contact with the world outside your four walls. Lorenz makes the point that, "You don't always have to leave your home office to cowork. With modern technology such as Skype, Twitter and Facebook you can still co-work when you are not physically present at your co-working station. When at home, we simply connect with partners who also work from home that day via Skype, and get to experience the feel of a virtual office."

Coworking - a Physical Location

A coworking facility is a shared office environment where freelancers and entrepreneurs can share workspace, equipment and other resources along with the pleasure of each other's company. The amenities provided at a coworking facility can include furnishings, meeting/conference rooms, office equipment, internet access, cleaning service and utilities. The cost is far lower than providing the same in an office for just one individual because expenses are shared. Coworking facilities can be used as frequently - or infrequently - as needed. Often those who use a coworking facility discover networking opportunities within the facility itself, providing the added value of customer acquisition.

According to Jonathan Hilley, co-founder of a workspaces concept called, KUBIK Office, coworking facilities can assist workers in the following ways:

• reduced capital in fixed assets, which can then be better used in personnel, research, marketing, or other investments
• providing offices, equipment, and support for meetings, classes, and presentations
• projecting a professional presence to clients and prospects
• enabling workers and teams to meet and function at sites close to home and clients
• provides familiar and reliable offices and services while on business travel

Is the concept of coworking for everyone? Most likely. Even those who prefer to work in quiet conditions must, in their own best interest, have some social interaction. Is a coworking facility for every solo entrepreneur or freelancer? It depends.

Take these factors into consideration when deciding if a coworking facility is the right choice for you:

• Is the nature of your job portable enough?
• Is the facility conveniently located for you and your clients?
• Can you abide by the fact that you won't have control of ambient noise, temperature, fellow workers' temperament?
• Is the facility populated with professionals with similar working requirements as yourself?

Coworking can be a solution to the isolation of being a solo-worker by giving you the resources, networking opportunities and reason to get dressed in the morning that you may lack by working at home.

Do you cowork? How does coworking help your productivity?

By Gina Blitstein

At the outset of a new year, we often feel the desire to reevaluate our progress toward our goals. The first step toward greater accomplishments in business is to identify those goals. Perhaps they are concrete things, like, "Sell a million widgets!" Maybe they are less structured goals, as in, "Increase sales!" In either case, there are measurable steps, or benchmarks, that can and should be tracked along the way so that your progress toward your goal can be assessed.

It's one thing to know whether or not you're making progress toward your goal. It's another to take action when that progress isn't satisfactory. What are the consequences of failing to achieve a desired benchmark? Obviously, it's the "failure itself" - not reaching the goal and the ramifications of that failure upon your business. In a broader sense, each unattained benchmark is an unattained opportunity for greater success. Is there a way to keep your actions on track so that the benchmarks you strive to achieve actually get achieved?

Once you know where you want your business to go and how to quantify your progress toward getting there, an Accountability Coach can help to keep you traveling in the right direction. An Accountability Coach will make sure that you do what is necessary to make your resolution to succeed a reality.

According to Accountability Coach, Anne Bachrach, author of, Excuses Don't Count...Results Rule!, "The Number One reason that stops people from achieving what they really want is simply lack of accountability." On her web site, accountabilitycoach.com, Anne goes on to say, "Left to our own devices most people don't do all the things they know they should to get to where they want to ultimately be. Unfortunately, our good intentions don't always control our actions." She continues, "Sometimes we do take action on our good intentions, but in short a matter of time, many of us find we start to slip and revert back to our old ways. Having someone in your life that helps you follow through with your good intentions by holding you accountable, will in the end, turn those intentions into the results you desire."

So exactly what is an accountability coach? According to Anne, "Your Accountability Coach is a process expert, guiding your journey and coaching you to your destination, with the end results accomplished by you. Bottom line: Your Accountability Coach holds you accountable to follow through with your good intentions."

An Accountability Coach:

• Listens to the issues you are experiencing. By utilizing proven tracking systems, they help you set specific goals, develop a plan, and require you to implement your plan.
• Provides candid feedback to you.
• Helps you identify opportunities.
• Provides objectivity by helping you think outside the box – and see what is possible.
• If necessary, recommends other specialists that can assist you.
• Helps you through the transitional periods as you learn and grow to your next level.
• Assists you in balancing your professional life with your personal life.
• Encourages and motivates you.
• Keeps you focused on your highest payoff activities to achieve your goals.
• Helps you look at the big picture for your professional and personal life. It is about creating life balance.

On her blog, Anne explains, "Talking to a coach who will hold you accountable on a consistent basis immediately improves the odds of you achieving your goals. It’s too easy to let the crisis of the day or little distractions and interruptions alter your ideal day... Working with a coach provides the accountability you need to enable you to do what needs to be done; to stop making excuse after excuse and letting your goals and dreams slip away."

How does accountability coaching motivate? The desire to do what it takes to succeed actually comes from within each person, declares Anne. Each person's core values are the emotional magnet that pulls them in the direction of doing the hard work that is necessary for success. Anne believes, "What gets tracked gets measured and so many people just don't track anything. People who work with me get a proven system for goal setting, tracking, and effective time management that helps them stay focused and offers some level of accountability."

The combination of having your goals clearly defined, measured and tracked - along with some help to stay accountable for your actions - can help you turn your good intentions into success.

Could an accountability coach be the "kick in the pants" you need to realize your goals?

By Gina Blitstein

The beginning of a new year invariably evokes a sense of renewal; of hopes for a fresh start and a recharged battery. Many people attempt to take advantage of the "clean slate" a new year represents to make resolutions to start or stop behaviors to increase their overall well-being. We all want to resolve to be better and do better in our lives and businesses from one year to the next. Unfortunately most resolutions, while well-intentioned, fall unrealized by the time February rolls around. How can we turn a resolution into a reality?

Some resolutions are easy to identify and act upon, like, "Stop buying widgets!" Others are more challenging to pinpoint and resolve, such as, "We need to speed up our production!" While both resolutions are intended to increase profits, the second will take more than hiding the checkbook to actually happen. Resolving to run our businesses more efficiently and profitably takes some diligent and determined planning and execution.

Sandy Roos, Virtual Assistant and owner of Shadow Executive Services, says that the first step to making improvements in our business is being aware of the components of that change so as to measure our progress toward the goal. Sandy refers to the components as "benchmarks." As defined by dictionary.com, a "benchmark" is "a standard of excellence, achievement, etc., against which similar things must be measured or judged." By breaking down bigger goals into managable benchmarks, Sandy says you can identify improvement and progress along the way.

Sandy explains that benchmarks can be anything an individual or business chooses to track. There may be an industry standard, for example, of the amount of time it "should" take for a certain task to be completed. By measuring the amount of time you or your employees take to complete the task, you can determine that you fall below (slower than) the benchmark or above (faster than) the benchmark. A benchmark is simply a measuring device to quantify your progress toward your ultimate goal.

Measurement of that progress is the first step toward achieving goals, Sandy continues. "You need to know where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Without that forward vision, you'll never see your progress from here to there, which is very inspiring."

Sandy advises the following guidelines for using benchmarks to measure your progress:

• Choose individual goals. You may not be able to match or exceed another individual's or company's goals, so use benchmarks to track your own progress. It's not a competition between you and "them." Think of it as achieving your "personal best."

• Let benchmarks inspire, not discourage you. As long as you are making progress toward your own goals, benchmarks are a beneficial yardstick. Reassess your benchmarks if they prove unattainable. Remember, "Slow and steady wins the race!"

• Be accountable for your progress. Once you know where you're headed, you must keep moving in that direction. Whatever it takes (meetings, reports, incentives...), if it's worth measuring, it's worth seeing through.

Benchmarks are a useful tool for taking stock of where you stand today and envisioning where you want to go. It is vital to find an appropriate way to measure your progress toward your greater success. Without a way to measure, there is nothing for which to be held accountable. Without accountability, there is little to no chance you'll stay on track. And we all know what happens when we fall off the resolution track.

What benchmarks do you use to assess your progress toward your business goals?

By Gina Blitstein

Entrepreneurs are a proud group, passionate about their business and the work they do to ensure its success. And why shouldn't they be? They have embarked on a brave journey, investing their talent and effort, time and money. They may be so proud of their endeavors, in fact, that it is among their favorite topics of conversation. This may prove exhilarating for the entrepreneur - and downright excruciating for those with whom she has the most contact: her family and friends.

Of course it's only natural to want to share the news of your business with those near and dear to you. In some cases they may be among your first clients - and at the very least they are a valuable source of emotional support and referrals. The information you can relate about your business provides them with the fodder to spread the word about your undertaking. But let's face it - at some point there's got to be another subject to discuss as you pass the candied yams at the Thanksgiving dinner table!

How do you appropriately discuss your work with friends and family without alienating them?

Samir Raiyani, CEO of Dolcera, a patent, technology and market research services company says, "In the early days of our company, our friends had been a huge help in helping us make connections with some of our key Fortune 500 clients. Over time, as we built a sales and marketing engine etc., we did not get the word out to our friends much and became inward-focused. Friends may not become customers, and may not even bring business, but they help create buzz and goodwill all around. So I made a YouTube video and put it on Facebook to tell my friends what I and my company do. I encouraged my coworkers to do the same as well."

Samir offers the following tips for discussing business with friends and family without taking advantage of their patience:

• Friends can be a huge source of business and goodwill. Tap them early and regularly, but not often.
• Don't abuse your friends' goodwill: After a while, they'll tire of helping you. Once the business is mature, bother your friends sparingly, and only when all other options have been exhausted, or when there is a good fit.
• Keep them informed about your business always: If they see an area of overlap or opportunity, they'll come to you as long as they know you can help.

Ben Wallace, of First National Merchant Solutions® concurs but with some cautions: "As a small business owner and a business consultant, I am passionate about what I do because I enjoy it and I want to help others. I think that there is a line between your professional business and friends and family, however I think that there can be a healthy balance."

Ben provides these tips for finding that balance:

• Have the right attitude – It is okay to let your friends and family members know what you do for a living in case your services might be helpful to them or those around them. It is okay to provide them the opportunity to seek you out, but leave the final decision up to them without any expectations on your part. It is not okay to be pushy or to expect that because someone is a friend or family member that they are obligated to buy anything from you.
• Be honest with them – If your business is something that you can provide a discount for, it is polite to offer them the benefit. However, don’t put yourself in a bad situation or lower the value of your service by giving them a price that hurts you. If they ask for a discount, be up front with them, don’t lie or set the expectation if you can’t follow through.
• Be aware of who you are working with – Everyone has some friends that would be okay if you casually mentioned what you do and how your services might be of help and some that might be awkward or might not feel comfortable. You probably know who those people are. Don’t feel like you need to email everyone that exists, it is okay to limit your message to those that you are comfortable selling to.
• If you aren’t sure, don’t do it – If you can’t be sure that someone would be okay or comfortable with you putting yourself out there, don’t do it. It is better to preserve the relationship than to get one more sale.

Beverly D. Flaxington, Author of, Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior, assures us, "It is absolutely possible -- and in fact necessary -- to "blur the lines" between a business that you own and your personal life. Some of my biggest corporate clients have come from personal relationships and now that I am marketing a book and coaching, my friends have proven to be a great resource."

Some things to keep in mind, according to Beverly:

• Like any "sales pitch," you have to keep the message focused on "what's in it for them?" -- why would someone want to work with you? Why is what you are offering good for the market? You need to have a clear business message and NOT just, "Can you help me out?"
• It can often help with friends or family to pose it as, "I'm not asking you directly to be involved, but this is what I am doing (then explain), do you have any ideas for me?" This way it isn't a direct request but the friend gets the idea of what you need.
• Keep friends and family on an email list, or update list -- this way they can stay abreast of what you are doing and can pass info along when it is relevant.
• Be sure to keep the quid pro quo in front of you -- if you are able to find ways to help your friends and family with what they are doing, they will likely look for ways to reciprocate.
• Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, do not depend on friends and family. Market to them, just like everyone else but don't expect a handout or support just because they are a friend. Your friends will more likely help you when they see how successful you are with others!

The good news is that friends and family can be an invaluable resource and sounding board for the entrepreneur - if you don't abuse the privilege that closeness brings.

Do you discuss your business with friends and family?

By Gina Blitstein

Today's workplace is changing to accommodate the lives of those working in it. The old paradigm of 9-5, Monday through Friday with a two-week vacation and some sick days (that you'd better really be sick for) has become obsolete as employees demand more flexibility. Technology has made possible an enormous number of ways to create more flexible workplaces which better suit the wants and needs of employees.

Especially high on the list of employee requirements in the new corporate world is the accommodation of family. From parental leave to flex time to job sharing, the options to make this a workable reality are plenty.

It Really Can Work

Meet two partners in the same business who keep their own individual schedules which include time for work and family - and even themselves.

"I'm as likely to be up till 2:00 AM finishing e-mails as I am to take the morning off to attend a special event at my children's school," relates Pamela O'Hara, President of BatchBlue Software and mother of three young children. "My typical work week is 8:30AM - 3:00PM and 8:00PM -11:00PM on weekdays and 8-10 hours on the weekend. But that said, I almost never have a "typical" week. The 3:00-8:00 break in my work day is my family time." As far as fitting in some 'me' time, Pamela says, "I recently joined a gym and am really enjoying squeezing in a few lunch trips and a weekend trip for some "my health" time."

Michelle Riggen-Ransom, Director of Communications for BatchBlue Software says that she works, "9:00AM -3:00PM on weekdays and then 8:00PM - 11:00PM a few nights a week (including some weekend nights), plus I maintain our Twitter account and keeping up on social media activities of our customers/competitors etc. so I'm always checking that. I'm with our kids (aged 6 and 2) two hours every morning, then five hours every night between school and bed, plus all day on the weekends. And my youngest is home with me on Fridays, so I tend to work around her schedule on that day." Michelle adds, "Ideally, I try to build in time to get to the gym or run at least three times a week."

Individual Focus Helps Create Balance

The freedom to work according to your individual schedule makes it easier to find a balance between work and life. When families are treated as part of the whole employee equation rather than a distraction from work, it shows a high degree of respect toward her. "We have periodic outings with families included so that there is a sense of an extended BatchBlue family," says Pamela. A company that can even allow an employee to combine work and family at times is greatly appreciated. Michelle says that while she really tries not to combine work and family, she feels lucky that her company is flexible enough so if it has to happen, it can. "For example," she shares, "yesterday my son's camp plans fell through, so he came and hung out in a spare office while we had our staff meeting and he watched a DVD while we worked. We all know each other's kids and spend time together outside of work, too, so there's that overlap."

How can this type of work environment benefit an employee who may experience a personal or family issue? Pamela replies, "I let the team know what is up. We all respect each other's need to take care of the personal, so as long as the work is getting done there is not an issue of 'time limits'." Michelle adds, "If there is something going on with the family, I can shift my work schedule around as needed. That's something I am very grateful for as I know it's not always true at many companies."

Location, Location, Location

If it isn't necessary for you to physically be at a particular place, a location that suits you creates a more pleasant and productive work environment. "Last December we got our first "official" office," says Pamela. "We still largely operate remotely from all of our preferred work spaces (homes, coffee shops), but now have a space outside of the personal space to meet and work." Michelle benefits from the freedom to work remotely, "I can't work well in my house unless my kids are gone, so if they are around during my work times, I tend to go either into the office or to a cafe. I've been working remotely for over ten years, so where I work isn't a huge deal for me as long as I have my laptop and some relative solitude."

Giving employees the latitude to incorporate their life into their work and their work into their life as needed creates increased engagement to both. When one of these elements conflicts too greatly with the other, both suffer. For these successful businesswomen, the ability to choose when, how and where they work helps them to create an individualized work/life balance.

How can more flexibility in performing their jobs lead your employees to greater overall satisfaction?

By Gina Blitstein

When it's your responsibility to make sure people perform at their best, you have limited choices: Usually a pat on the back or a wag of the finger. It's easy to give praise where praise is due but criticism carries the connotation of being negative and well, critical. It's crucial to any team or project that both kudos are given and concerns are voiced, however, so the key is finding the most effective way to communicate performance. It's important to think of the process as a continuous flow of honest feedback, both congratulatory and corrective.

Feedback in Action: Helping Rather Than Hurting

What are the best practices for giving feedback? The Wine Mom, Jaime Westhause says, "I worked for a large retailer for 2.5 years. They really foster what they call a "feedback" environment. I found that when a corporation has an open feedback mentality, corrective criticism is expected and makes it easier to give. At every level, employees are held accountable to giving feedback in a manner that promotes growth. The thought behind that is there is always room for improvement. If you don't give corrective criticism, you are holding the company and it's employees back. This mind set really helps you get past some of the awkwardness of giving corrective criticism, not that it isn't still uncomfortable. Some guidelines were: tell the other person what they did, how it made you feel, and a suggestion to doing it better the next time. Then follow up with questions to make sure the message was received as intended."

K.T. Connor, PhD, of the Center for Applied AxioMetrics says, "Of course, sometimes managers or moms are responsible for helping a person change behavior for some reason. In that case, when we are convinced that the feedback will be helpful, the thing to do is to ask the person if feedback would be helpful. I’ve found it works to say something like, “You know, I have some observations that might be useful to you. Would you be interested in them? You needn’t do anything about them, but I’ve found sometimes new information gives me something to think about.”

It's Not Easy But It's Necessary

Jodi Glickman, founder of Great on the Job, a communication consulting firm, says, "Sugarcoating the truth or dancing around an issue doesn’t do anyone any good. The goal of feedback/criticism is to make people better at what they do. As long as the feedback is constructive and delivered in a thoughtful and meaningful way, it is the right way to go, even if it’s the hard way."

Jodi offers these tips to help you validate the person’s strong points and lessen the discomfort that often accompanies a critique:

• Include both facts and anecdotes/illustrations to make your points.
• Don’t make too many points at once.  Don’t drown the receiver with too much data. Give him a chance to “come up for air.”
• Avoid game-playing.  While open-ended questions are good, they should not be used at the beginning of the exchange. Asking the receiver, “How do you think you did?” is a form of entrapment.
• Work hard to keep the exchange two sided.  On occasion, pause and allow the other person to share his thoughts about the discussion so far.
• Don’t waste time, energy, or emotions on things the other person cannot change or over which he has little or no control.
• From time to time, remind yourself that the only reason for giving feedback is to help the other person become better than she already is.  Candor is valuable, but your role is to provide more than a candid assessment: your role is to effect improvement. Too much candor may block improvement.
• Ask for feedback about your feedback.

Jodi also offers this quote by Edith Wharton to ponder: "There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." She says, "When you’re giving feedback and constructive criticism you are, in a sense, spreading light. At certain points, you are the metaphoric candle, lighting the way into the darkness of unknown behavioral territory. At other times, you’re reflecting back to the individual both the positive and less-than-positive elements of his or her behavior." Either way, your perceptions and feedback can and will improve others' performance.

How do you communicate the good - and the bad - to those you manage?

By Gina Blitstein

Whether at home with a son, daughter or spouse or at work with a colleague, giving criticism is a touchy subject. When you're the one in charge of a family, project or business, however, it is your responsibility to guide and sometimes refine the behavior and attitude of others. How do you express to someone you respect that his or her performance could stand improvement without causing hurt feelings and/or anger?

Kathy Koch, Ph.D., Founder and President of Celebrate Kids, Inc. says, "I don’t believe we should ever criticize. There’s no way to make it “constructive.” Criticism is defined as “pointing out a wrong.” That doesn’t do anyone any good, no matter people’s intentions. Rather, we should correct, which is defined as “putting right an error.” Correction allows a person to “construct” a new future. It’s hopeful and much more positive." According to Kathy, then, it is important to 'correct' our concept of criticism so as to build up rather than demean a person's sense of worth and effectiveness.

Forget "Criticism" - Think "Feedback"

According to Sandra Naiman, executive coach and author of The High Achiever's Secret Codebook: The Unwritten Rules for Success at Work, the first step (in considering the concept of fostering desired behavior) is, "to change the word from “criticism,” which implies judgment, to “feedback,” which is information designed to help someone reach a goal or improve their performance. From that perspective, it is a gift and it is that intention that should motivate a person to offer it."

Sandra offers these criteria for offering effective feedback:

• It is welcome. One should ask permission before offering feedback.
• It focuses on behavior and does not assign blame or lead to conclusions about the person. For example “When you did not respond to my suggestion, I felt disregarded,” as opposed to “you don’t care what anybody thinks.”
• It is specific, related to a definite occurrence. For example “When Jeffrey suggested a new approach to customer service, you acknowledged his statement and then moved on to the next agenda item without discussing it.”
• It is actionable. The receiver can do something to correct or improve his or her behavior.

Keep It Coming

It is important to establish and utilize clear lines of communication with those with whom you are dealing. Erica Pinsky, M.Sc., CHRP, CertConRes and Author of Road to Respect: Path to Profit says, "For me the key is the development of relationship – a respectful leader develops an authentic and genuine relationship with each member of her team. Relationship implies conversation, ongoing dialogue. The whole idea of performance management, giving feedback should be discussed with each employee, so that there is a context, an ability to have an exchange of ideas, questioning. The interest should be from a place of support – the leader will benefit if her team performs well, so it is in her best interest to ensure that ongoing feedback becomes part of the equation. This should also mean that the leader is open to feedback from her team. It is all about how we can best work together to support each other, and an understanding that feedback on behaviour and job performance is part of how we do business around here."

Erica goes on to say, "Bottom line, however, is that when the culture supports ongoing feedback (as any truly respectful workplace culture will) then that means that leaders and those they lead are supported and trained to deliver feedback, it becomes a norm of the culture, and therefore there is none of the dread one feels when one has to deliver or receive criticism.”

Jana Samulski, President of The Jana Samulski Company, says, "Keep the communications open throughout the entire project. When employees know that they will be given pointers and improvement methods, they become more open to constant feedback and actually look forward to learning how to build their skills.

It's all in the way you look at your responsibility as a leader. When feedback is a regular and expected component of your relationships and pertains specifically to performance enhancement, it is not critical but rather beneficial to all concerned. Make giving honest feedback a habit in all your relationships as a positive way to keep the lines of communication flowing. No one will criticize your efforts.

How could your family and business relationships benefit from consistent feedback?

By Gina Blitstein

Everyone's been there: You wake up and wonder where you're going to find the impetus to push forward. Sometimes the expression, "Another day another dollar," is about the most positive thing you can dredge up. Pathetic, but true, right? You're a creative, passionate and productive person. You're not supposed to run out of the 'juice' that keeps you going - yet there it is... Your 'get up and go' got up and went.

Fortunately there are strategies for persevering through these times when your inspiration is running on empty. We humans have countless ways of re-inspiring ourselves. Here are some well-considered suggestions for regaining your inspiration:

Sometimes the problem is acute. Maybe you are overly wrapped up in one aspect of your life and that is overshadowing your ability to focus on other areas. Perhaps you're dealing with a business setback or a relationship problem. These types of short-term issues tax our confidence and creative juices, resulting in a lack of inspiration.

Author Marta Felber suggests these exercises:

• Choose one person, living or dead, you want to model. Tell them, in your head, what you admire about them.
• Discover your strengths. Start an ongoing list, including ones from your model that you share or make happen through time.
• Write a promissory note at the end of each working day for the next day of what you choose to do and be.
• Celebrate any success, any size, at the end of the following day; document. Regrets ignored.
• Repeat above prescription daily.

What if you are suffering from a more chronic lack of inspiration? Perhaps you are going through a dramatic and more long-term crisis of confidence and creativity. It's time to do some serious introspection and take decisive action to regain your mojo!

Joni Daniels, of Daniels and Associates who provide Management Training and Organizational Development, suggests the following:

• Get Out & Be Seen – Go meet with someone, somewhere about something. Create a schedule of things to do, information to obtain, and activities to handle. Stay visible professionally. Associations, trade groups, customers and contractors should see you staying actively involved in your profession. Write articles teach a class, speak to a group – get out of the ‘gopher hole’ and see what’s going on around you.
• Steer Clear of Drains – Everyone knows the person who sucks the energy out of the room or focuses on the ‘half-empty glass.’ Avoid spending too much/any time with people who cast the unemployed as victims of an economy where the odds are stacked against them. This is the time for cheerleaders, not naysayers. Find the people who make you laugh and go spend time with them.
• Get Away – Too much focus on your job can cause you to lose perspective. Take breaks from the job hunt to enjoy friends, family, activities, the park, a walk, or any activity that you enjoy. A change of scene (the beach, the harbor, the museum) can clear your head and allow you to relax.
• Focus On What You Have – Create a ritual of taking an inventory of all the things you appreciate and are grateful for. Good health, loving relationships, a car that runs well, even a terrific ice cream cone or a hot shower can help you remember that work is a part of life and not your entire life.
• Go to Your Strengths – This is the time to focus on what you do well. Be able to articulate your accomplishments and the skills they required. Write them down, practice saying them, and share them with others.

These activities will refocus your mind on your core passions and motivations - from a day-long lag or a month-long slump. Allow yourself to dwell on how intelligent, creative and successful you are. Soon it will become a habit to look at yourself and your life in this more energetic and positive light. It is in that light that you will rediscover your inspiration.

How do you find inspiration when you are running low?

Not everyone lives - or works - by The Golden Rule. What can businesswomen do when they suddenly find themselves the victim of career or business sabotage, and they are the ones sabotaging themselves?

Nekisha-Michelle Bakre, entrepreneur, inspirational speaker, radio talk show host, life coach and author. Her new book, “Breaking Invisible Chains," says to remember that you are the "C.E.O. of your life first."

Bakre is referring to an acronym she developed: Conscious, Educated and Optimistic. Here is how Bakre defines CEO:

Conscious - Be conscious of your associations and peer groups. You will only go as far as the sum total of those you invite in your personal space. Make sure you are not flocking with energy drainers and dream snatchers. You want to take inventory of the language, actions and motivations of those in your immediate circle because if it is not radiating success then it will be challenging for you to assimilate into the culture of success. Find birds of a feather that want to create success together.

Educated - You can be better educated through a power partner or success coach about under-developed areas and habits that may be sabotaging your progress. Being accountable to a success coach or power partner will give you that much needed reinforcement and cheerleading to keep you focused on achieving your dreams and goals as well as remind you that you are not alone on your journey to the top. It takes teamwork to make the dream work.

Optimistic - Be optimistic about “having your cake and eating it too.” We have heard at some point that it is not possible to do both, but it is up to you to make that statement a myth. All you have to do is reset the thermostat of success in your mind and heart as high as you want it to function. Shift your focus to how far you can climb versus how low you can fall. One of the things they tell you if you are afraid of heights is “DON”T LOOK DOWN!”

How do you keep from sabotaging your own career?

by Gina Blitstein

There are those who are happy with the steady pace and paycheck of a 9-5 job. They enjoy the complete separation of their work-self from their home-self, and never - or rarely - do the twain meet. These folks make up the backbone of the workforce -thank goodness for them! Then there are the entrepreneurs...

Entrepreneurs are entrepreneurs whether they are working for someone else or for themselves because entrepreneurs are born...not made. Entrepreneurs are the type of workers who just naturally take ownership of their job, taking on far more responsibility than is necessary - because they can't do otherwise. It is their nature to approach work with that attitude, as if their work is a direct reflection of themselves. They are often the type of employees who 'outgrow' their position after a short while, feeling unchallenged, under-stimulated and under-appreciated. Often they have run-ins with superiors because they have very definite ideas about the way things should be run - and that doesn't always mesh with the company line.

Recognize yourself? Maybe entrepreneurship is for you. If you are an entrepreneur at heart, you know (probably by experience) that you will never be happy working for someone else. You know that you need to run the show. You know your issues with work don't stem from a problem with authority or an aversion to hard work. On the contrary - the entrepreneurial mind savors the discipline and hard work that starting a business of her own will entail. Knowing that it will be difficult and fraught with challenges doesn't dampen her entrepreneurial spirit - rather, it feeds it. There seems to be something that compels the entrepreneur to turn passion into their life's work.

Often the impetus for 'taking the plunge' into entrepreneurship is internal - satisfying that innate need to work your own business on your own terms. Sometimes it is external, due to a lack of other, or adequate, choices. Sometimes it is a little of both.

Julie Roads, writer, consultant, speaker and founder of Writing Roads, a marketing and copywriting service says, "I chose being my own boss versus getting a job with a steady paycheck because I so desperately needed to be home with my tiny baby (2.8 lbs at birth). I also rarely liked any job I'd ever had, I'm not a big fan of having a boss (though the best one I ever had was a total mentor). I chose to write because I've always been a writer. From as far back as I can remember that's how I identified myself to myself - you know, in my head." When asked where she found the fortitude to make the professional leap to entrepreneur, Julie says, "In terms of needing to work from home that was 'mama bear survival strength' - there is no match for that strength anywhere else on the planet. In terms of choosing writing? I just knew, in my gut, that it would work out. Nothing has ever felt so right. I don't even remember worrying about it. I dove in and never doubted for a second that it would work."

It is worth investigating the entrepreneurial path if you find yourself chronically unsatisfied working in traditional employment. It just may be that your passion has come knocking at your subconscious. While in the long run, you stand to reap great benefits, bear in mind it can be a bumpy road compared to that steady and predictable stream of income from your run-of-the-mill job. The fact is, not every entrepreneurial endeavor is successful; many entrepreneurs start and fail at several businesses before one gets off the ground. The secret is not to be discouraged by setbacks and slow growth. A big part of the entrepreneurial spirit is the resiliency and tenacity to go the distance.

Are you an entrepreneur trapped in the cubicle of an unhappy employee?

by Gina Blitstein

Smaller business owners their and employees often wear many hats. Due to budget constraints or a certain sense of personal ownership, hiring someone to take on even routine functions is often not an option. But should it be?

Let's face it...as much as you want to be a business superhero, no one person can do it all. Some jobs are too technical, some are outside your knowledge base and others are simply too time-consuming.The question you must reconcile is, "How much is my time worth?"

Let's consider the option of outsourcing certain jobs as a savings tool rather than an expense - even for the smaller business.

According to Sandra Roos, owner of a virtual assistant company, Shadow Executive Services, hiring a virtual assistant can free up a professional's time to do what he or she is best at - utilizing talent and abilities to the fullest.

Sandra recounts the story of an entrepreneur who was doing everything herself when she began her business. While her greatest strength was selling, she was spending too much time doing data entry and little tasks that were really more administrative in nature. Although the client was capable of doing those jobs, that time could have been more productively spent networking and developing relationships, which is the key to getting business.

Through her administrative partnership with this client, Sandra has gained her trust. As a result, she delegates more and more functions to her virtual assistant's capable hands.

Sandra says that there are several ways a virtual assistant can help you make the most of your valuable professional time. A virtual assistant can help you clear more time to do what you do by fulfilling the following functions for you:

• Word Processing/Secretarial Services. Includes transcription, answering phones, tracking schedules and making appointments
• Bookkeeping. Includes invoicing, reconciling accounts and writing checks
• Database Management. Includes keeping track of client information, leads and communications
• Desktop Publishing. Includes creation of marketing materials, price lists and newsletters
• Mail and Email Services. Includes sorting of mail, keeping up with routine correspondence and sending outgoing mail
• Internet Services. Includes editing and maintaining current web site information as well as creating and sending email newsletters

Many virtual assistants have specialized fields, such as real estate or are adept at skills such as copywriting, graphic art or website development. Sandra says a new and powerful offering from virtual assistants is the mastery of social networking. "I've seen VAs who are starting to be LinkedIn/Facebook/Twitter experts. A lot of entrepreneurs hear about these things but they don't understand how they work, how important it is to keep it up to date, etc." In that sense, a virtual assistant can even function as a marketing resource for your business.

So how do you justify hiring a virtual assistant? Keep in mind, your time is valuable, so you should use it effectively. Don't bog yourself down in tasks that are not the most efficient use of your time and abilities. Determine which tasks you spend time doing for your business that aren't strictly within your job description.

Organizations like The International Virtual Assistants Association provide a database to help in your selection of the virtual assistant that's the right fit for you. Although delegating responsibilities to an outside entity can be emotionally difficult and there is cost involved in hiring someone, you're actually buying yourself more time to practice your business.

Sandra asks her clients, "Do you think Oprah does everything herself?" Give your business the benefit of more of your expertise in action - it's the most valuable investment you can make.

What do you delegate to others? What do you still hold onto that you should let go?

by Gina Blitstein

Everyone feels stress from time to time. Whether it stems from your work, your family, finances or personal issues, stress can drag you down, making even the simplest things more difficult. When you are stressed, the quality of your life, relationships and work suffers. What can you do to calm yourself so you can deal more effectively when you feel overwhelmed?

• Mind traffic. The more you have going on in your own mind, the more stress you may feel. Having a lot on your mind stresses a person to the point where she feels she is dealing with too much - like when driving in heavy traffic. A less overwhelmed person is better-equipped to avoid that feeling of "sensory overload." Although it's not often possible to keep your mind traffic light, awareness that a busy mental "street" is more difficult to navigate may lead to some personal insight.

by Gina Blitstein

Let's face it, nobody's perfect. From time to time, we all put our foot in our mouth. Once you've said or done something that offends someone, you can't unring that bell. What's done is done and the only way out of an awkward - and potentially damaging - situation is to apologize in a manner that that satisfies all parties involved. The key is to apologize so that it is a boon to the relationship, not a detriment.

Apologies in the workplace are particularly sensitive issues. In the first place, it may be easier to offend someone at work because the nature of your relationship is more superficial than with friends or family. It's easier in that arena to be unaware that you are saying or doing something offensive. Additionally, hurt feelings may be more difficult to address in the workplace due to the professional nature of relationships and whatever hierarchy exists among coworkers.

According to Steve Adubato, trainer and coach in the areas of communication and leadership skills and author of "What Were They Thinking: The Good, The Bad and The Totally Clueless!" apologizing in the workplace can be effective, if done with these things in mind:

• Take full responsibility. Admit that it was your blunder which you now regret. Don't attempt to blame it on the offended party or anyone else.

As if your life weren’t hectic enough already, the holidays are over, which means you're recovering from holiday madness and catching up at work.At the start of another new year, it’s important to set and maintain boundaries — something that can be difficult all year ’round.

Getting into some good time-management habits now can help make 2009 a productive - and manageable - year.

Here are a few quick boundary-setting tips to help you hold on to your time this year:

• Structure your time. Multitasking is all well and good, but time, like money, needs to be budgeted. You wouldn’t use your business account to pay your mortgage; likewise, you shouldn’t be using your work time to take care of personal commitments (and vice versa). Focus on one commitment at a time so the people you’re helping – whether it’s a client or your kids – know they have your full attention.

• Plan your schedule early and stick to it. Let your employees know what your company's goals are this year. The sooner you can let your employees know what’s expected of them, the better they'll be able to set their own priorities and focus on concrete goals.

• Create physical separation between work and personal time. If you work at home and you haven’t set up a home office yet, now’s the time to do it. Make sure you have a space that’s all your own, dedicated just to your business. Be very clear with your family that when you’re in that workspace, you need to be focused on work, and other issues need to wait.

• Define your boundaries to others. If a client wants to set up a meeting at a time that will conflict with something important — like your daughter’s choir concert — it’s okay to say, “I have an important family commitment at that time. Can we set something up earlier in the day?” Be flexible but firm.

• Get comfortable with saying “no.” Easier said than done, right? Especially with so much catching up to do post-holidays, you have to learn to draw the line. If you take on too many tasks, you won’t be able to do any of them as well as you’d like to. Better to turn down a project than to take it on and realize you’re in over your head.

A new year gives you the opportunity to start fresh with some better time management habits so you can actually get things done.

The Connected and Committed Leader: Lessons from Home, Results at Work, by Laura Lopez (Living Leadership Press, 2008)

One of the challenges of being a woman in business is separating your professional persona from your personal self. This can be particularly tough if you’re a mom. After all, being a successful manager means leaving your maternal instincts at home, right?

Wrong, says Laura Lopez, author of The Connected and Committed Leader: Lessons from Home, Results at Work. A former vice-president at the Coca-Cola Company, Lopez found her leadership style began to change dramatically after she adopted her daughter. While she had always felt it was important to separate her professional life from her personal life, Lopez found that motherhood opened her eyes to what was missing from much of the business leadership she’d encountered (including her own management style).

When she went back to work after taking time off to bond with her daughter, Lopez writes, “I was suddenly more human.” Motherhood made her better able to connect with her employees, particularly those who were mothers themselves, and she found that her team had a new synergy. “We were productive and we had a lot more fun in the process,” she writes. “I was more relaxed, more myself and less guarded.”

The experience led Lopez to explore leadership using her new insight as a parent. Her conclusion? Too many managers leave themselves at home. They don’t connect with their employees as people, but as bodies just there to accomplish tasks. The solution, she says, is to “bring your heart to work.”

As a writer, Lopez speaks directly to the reader, and has an engaging, straightforward voice that makes The Connected and Committed Leader a fast, pleasant read. She illustrates her ideas with real-life examples, including personal anecdotes and models from successful corporations. Key points are highlighted on the page, making them easy to refer back to, and the book is packed with motivational quotes. The conclusion includes a self-inventory to help readers assess their leadership aptitude.

Lopez also offers a free companion e-workbook to readers who subscribe to her monthly newsletter at www.asklauralopez.com, and conducts free weekly teleseminars during which she answers questions asked by visitors to her website.

By the time you finish The Connected and Committed Leader, Lopez’s willingness to reach out to readers will come as no surprise. Above all else, she emphasizes that being a good leader has everything to do with listening, building trust, and offering respect.

“Leadership requires connection,” Lopez writes. “My hope is to inspire you to embrace the leader in you and to take leadership into every aspect of your life.”